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Review: Dynamite Cop [Dreamcast]

Developer: SEGA AM1 
Publisher: SEGA
Rated: T for Teen
Released: 31 October 1999
Completed: 26 August 2017

A while back I reviewed Die Hard Arcade on the Sega Saturn where I said that, objectively, it's a pretty threadbare port of an arcade game that can be beaten in a matter of minutes.  Subjectively, I admitted that my nostalgia blinds me and I still love the game.  When it comes to the game's sequel, Dynamite Cop, all of that - but on a boat.

Pretty much the entirety of this review could be summed up with the phrase "but on a boat."  That is the gist of Dynamite Cop; it's Die Hard Arcade, minus the license, and on a boat.  Bruno Delinger, the original game's protagonist - returns, but this time he's on a boat.  Two additional characters join him, Jean Ivy and Eddie Brown, and while they technically have different moves and slight differences in speed, they're all pretty much the same.  I was miffed that Bruno's pet monkey, pictured perched on his shoulder on the character select screen, is not in the game.  I was promised a monkey, SEGA!

Wolf Hongo (and his amazing beard) also returns as the villain, but on a boat.  He has some other pirates with him, and once again the President's daughter has been kidnapped.  Instead of being held hostage in an office high rise, she is now captive on a boat and hiding in a rather ostentatious pink suitcase that raises so many questions I don't even know where to begin.  Whose suitcase was it?  How did the terrorists not notice it was so heavy with a human being inside of it?  How flexible is the President's daughter to fit inside of that suitcase?  How shitty are the President's secret servicemen if they let his daughter get kidnapped a second time? 

If this review seems utterly silly to you, that's because it's the only way you can really talk about Dynamite Cop.  The game itself is so self-aware and ludicrous it begs you to make jokes about it.  You can literally beat people to death with giant sportfish and fire missiles at enemies that explode into little tiny mushroom clouds, all within the confines of a cruise ship.  That's why the game works!

Dynamite Cop isn't an incredible game.  It got mediocre reviews when it came out, and they're largely justified.  Like Die Hard Arcade, it's capable of being completed in minutes.  There are plenty of moves and weapons at your disposal, but basic punch and kick combos will get the job done.  Between beating up thugs, you still have to participate in quicktime events that can result in slight alterations on your path to the final showdown with Wolf.  It all has a very been-there, done-that feel to it, but on a boat.

And yet, just like its predecessor, I can't help but love it.  I know it's an ugly game that would look more at home on the N64 than the Dreamcast.  I know the voice acting is horrendously, hilariously bad.  I know it's a simple, braindead, arcade button-masher, and it's stupidly easy, but dammit if it isn't fun in short bursts!

Just about the only difference between Dynamite Cop and the original Deka/Die Hard Arcade besides the setting (a boat, in case you forgot) is you can now pick your starting route from three options.  The three routes share some areas, but each has their own exclusives as well, giving the game just a tiny hint of replayability.

Like the Saturn port of Die Hard Arcade, there's also a classic SEGA arcade game thrown on the disc.  This time it's Tranquilizer Gun.  Ironically, DHA's Deep Scan would have been more fitting, in keeping with the boat theme and all, but in any case they're still both kind of weird choices that have nothing to do with the core game.

So what have we learned about Dynamite Cop?  It looks terrible, it's short, even with multiple paths, it's not very deep but somehow it still manages to be kind of fun, and it takes place on a boat.  It's so ridiculous you just have to play it, especially if you enjoy arcade brawlers. 

Dynamite Cop was completed on a real Dreamcast (but not on a boat) with no cheats.

Retro-Review: Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage [Dreamcast]

Developer: Yuke's Co.
Publisher: Eidos Interactive
Rated: M for Mature
Released: 15 March 2000
Completed: 3 July 2016

 

There was a period where I actually bought Dreamcast games instead of pirating them.  Shortly after purchasing my console in February 2000, I picked up Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage on a whim.  I knew little about it, save that it got a few decent reviews and was something of a 3D beat 'em up/hack-n-slash.  I would later discover that it was based on a very popular manga and anime series, simply titled Berserk.  Sadly, it does little to live up to the series' great reputation.

I remember liking the game back in the day, but playing it now highlights every flaw in late 90s/early 2000s game design.  To its credit, the presentation is excellent, telling a story that takes place between volumes 22 and 23 of the manga.  The music was composed by Susumu Hirasawa, the same composer who scored the anime TV series, and the capable voice cast features many gaming and television mainstays including Cam Clarke (Leonardo in the classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon), Paul Eiding (Col. Roy Campbell in the Metal Gear Solid games), Earl Boen (Dr. Silberman in the Terminator films), and Michael Bell (Duke from G.I. Joe and Raziel in the Soul Reaver games) as Guts. 

The story is told through extremely long cutscenes that actually outlast the length of the time spent playing the game.  Guts, Casca (still catatonic from the events of the Golden Age story arc), and the elf Puck help a stranded traveling performer named Rita and are soon wrapped up in trying to cure a disease affecting the people of a local town ruled by a tyrant named Balzac.  The cinematics are decent enough, capturing the grim world of Berserk, but as good as Michael Bell is, nobody can play Guts quite like his English voice actor Marc Diraison.  Oddly enough, though the game's title is Guts' Rage, he is referred to as Gattsu, the Japanese pronunciation, all throughout the game.

The plot is entertaining and well-written, but it absolutely requires prior knowledge of the mangas that precede it.  Nobody should reasonably expect a video game to fill the player in on nearly two dozen volumes of stories, but even a short recap would have been nice.  Players unfamiliar with the story will be left scratching their heads as to why Casca, Guts' female traveling companion (whose name is also pronounced as both "Cass-ka" and "Coss-ka" in-game), seems to be mentally handicapped, or who Griffith is when Guts mutters his name, or why there's a pendant with a weird face on it.  On the bright side, if it makes people check out one of the best examples of the medium, that's not a bad thing.

In between the cinematics, you'll button mash through dozens of cheap, infuriating enemies, and play the occasional quicktime event.  Some of these events will lead to a branching path, while others result in instant death.  Guts has a handful of combos and subweapons he can access by sheathing his giant sword, the Dragonslayer.  Successful attacks, as well as taking damage, will also fill his berserk meter, which sends him into a red-tinted rage where he does extra damage and takes none himself. 

Given the extremely mature nature of the manga and the anime adaptations, Berserk is a very bloody game.  Enemies are often chopped in half with blood spraying everywhere, as was common in the TV show and films.  Guts' expertise with his man-sized blade has earned him the reputation as one of the fiercest swordsmen in the world.  Here, he spends most of his time clanging it against walls.

It's not that the hack and slash genre is a poor choice for a Berserk game.  The manga's heavy focus on medieval combat makes it a perfect fit, even if the hardware limitations of the Dreamcast mean Guts generally fights five or six enemies at a time instead of dozens or even a hundred, as he so famously does in the source material.  Unfortunately, the cramped levels don't jive well at all with swinging such a big weapon or fighting crowds.  Combos are often interrupted by your sword hitting a wall or a piece of scenery. 

Combat is about as clunky as it can possibly be.  As if being unable to effectively attack in tight surroundings weren't bad enough, Guts must also finish his animations before he can even so much as turn around.  You'll frequently find yourself swinging at thin air as enemies surround you.  In a puzzling design choice, Guts also sheathes his sword between several level transitions, forcing you to unsheathe it - or more likely, forget to do so until you realize you're only punching one enemy instead of trying to swing your sword at a swarm of them.  The last insult is the atrocious button lag.  Holding the R trigger and pressing a face button is supposed to use one of Guts' secondary items, but half the time he would just stand there unless I hammered the button several times.  Even sheathing his sword often required multiple presses before the game actually responded.

Ironically, your enemies don't seem to fall victim to solid walls.  Countless times I watched as an enemy soldier would lodge themselves halfway through stone, making them nigh impossible to hit unless I sheathed my sword and relied on punches or Guts' arm-mounted crossbow.  To make matters worse, enemies swarm and surround you, poking you with multiple unblockable strikes.  If you get hit by the first strike of a combo, you can do nothing but watch as your health dwindles, sometimes by as much as 50%!  Beat 'em ups have always had cheap elements, but this is ridiculous for a game that doesn't require you to keep feeding quarters into an arcade machine.

You are awarded with 10 continues on the normal difficulty setting, but should you use them all, you're likely to be set back quite a bit.  The game does offer saving to the VMU, but only at certain predetermined intervals, meaning you may quit in frustration and return only to discover you have to complete large sections all over again. 

Most of the game's difficulty stems from all these problems - collision detection, cheap enemies, cramped environments - and not from genuine challenge.  The one exception is the boss battle against Nosferatu Zodd, another character from the books that makes a most-welcome appearance.  It's a challenging battle that will test your skill, but it never really felt unfair and was definitely the highlight of the whole game for me.

On the technical side, the game runs well enough.  The framerate is solid even when there's a lot going on, but the graphics are just OK.  Most of the levels are bland brown or gray brick while the few open areas feel rather empty.  Some of the particle effects, such as the sparks you'll be seeing a lot of when your sword hits a solid object, look nice.

The audio is equally average.  The voice acting is competent.  Bell does a commendable job, but fans of the anime will be disappointed to hear anyone other than Marc Diraison voicing Guts.  Cam Clarke's Puck is annoyingly whiny.  Earl Boen gives a great performance as Balzac, however.  I actually thought it was the late, great Tony Jay, Bell's Soul Reaver co-performer, until the credits rolled.  Despite being composed by the same man as the anime, the music, on the other hand, is so forgettable I'm not sure there was any half of the time. 

As much as I wanted to love Sword of the Berserk, the unresponsive controls, cheap enemies, and downright stupid design choices made it too hard to enjoy.  It's a shame such a fantastic manga received such a poor video game adaptation.  Guts deserves better than this.  Its biggest saving graces are its presentation and the fact that it's blessedly short, clocking in around three hours (including the lengthy cutscenes).  Guts may have anger issues, but after playing this game, I know the feeling.

Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage was completed on a real Dreamcast with no cheats.

Retro-Review: Skies of Arcadia: Legends [GameCube]

Skies of Arcadia: Legends
Nintendo GameCube

Developer: Overworks
Publisher: SEGA
Rated: T for Teen
Released: 2003
Completed: 22 September 2014

For many years Lunar: The Silver Star was my favorite JRPG of all-time.  I fell in love with it when I rented it for my Sega CD in my teens, and I fell in love all over again when it was remade and rereleased on the PlayStation as Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete.  I even loved the Gameboy Advance version, Lunar Legend, even though it was understandably constrained by the limitations of cartridges.  I thought for sure nothing would ever top Lunar, until I played Skies of Arcadia Legends.

The original Skies of Arcadia came out during the midst of rampant Dreamcast game piracy.  I remember the groundbreaking work the rippers at Echelon did to get the massive game to work on CD-Rs, writing their own on-the-fly compression system.  It was a little choppy at times, but it was a remarkable release and I was excited to play it.  Unfortunately, there’s a gaming adage I have found to be true time and time again: when you have everything, you play nothing.  I played several hours of Skies of Arcadia, up through my heroes escaping the city of Valua the first time, then never touched it again – no doubt distracted by some other new release I downloaded and played for even less time.

When the GameCube got an enhanced port, I bought it on day one.  This is the copy I still own, and had never touched until I finally sat down, determined to experience the full game once and for all.  Among the minor graphical enhancements, and a slight aural downgrade (in order to fit the game onto a single GameCube optical disc), some additional content was added.  The already vast world has even more discoveries to find, extra optional boss battles in the form of bounties, and two new subplots – one involving a pirate who hunts other pirates, and the other requiring you to find hidden creatures for a mute girl and her strange pet.  Some of the Dreamcast-specific VMU features have been integrated into the game, though the mini-games have been jettisoned.  Overall, it’s the definitive version of the Dreamcast’s best RPG, but more than that, it’s one of the most engrossing RPGs of all-time.

Skies of Arcadia follows Vyse and his friend Aika, two young air pirates in the Blue Rogues, as they battle the evil Valuan army.  Valua is slowly invading and destroying all neighboring nations in an effort to gather the six moon crystals that control the Gigas – gigantic ancient monsters of unspeakable power that would make the Valuan Empire unstoppable.  Of course only Vyse and three of his friends can stop them.  It’s the same kind of silly tale that you’d expect from an RPG.  Entire fleets of ships fall to Valua, but somehow Vyse and his crew manage to stop them – go figure.  What separates Skies of Arcadia from other RPGs I’ve played is how fleshed out and likeable its characters are.  Like Lunar before it, you quickly learn to care about everyone – even the gruff veteran pirate Drachma, or the pampered Enrique.  Each character has a fascinating backstory, and each of them have their uses in battle.

Both the Dreamcast and GameCube releases are known for their high random encounter rate.  Though the Cube’s is slightly lower than the original release, expect to spend a lot of time in combat.  Fortunately, the combat is so addictive and enjoyable I never minded.  Like many RPGs, each character has a set number of action points that will govern what they can do in a round.  You can choose to attack, defend, use items, or special moves and magic spells, or focus to set up an even bigger attack in a following round.  Battles are completely turn-based, and the player gets full control of which enemies to attack.  All in all, it doesn’t sound very different from any other RPG, but the elemental system makes it a bit more interesting.

Each monster is designated with an affinity, and thereby a weakness, to certain elements.  During battle, a simple button press will change the color of your weapon to one of six different elements – yellow, blue, purple, red, green, and silver – and knowing which elements to use is the key, especially during tougher boss battles where you need to maximize damage as much as possible.  In addition to traditional experience points that level up your characters’ physical traits, you also earn points based on which elements your team used in battle.  When you level up your affinities, you unlock new special moves such as the ability to cure poison or cast more devastating spells.  It’s a fantastic system that makes playing random battles more rewarding as you try to max out and unlock all the abilities.

Also unique to Skies of Arcadia is ship-to-ship combat.  To me, this is where the game really shined.  Though they’re still all turn-based, the level of strategizing is staggering.  As you progress through the game, you can outfit your ship with new types of cannons, armor, or special gear.  Once engaged in battle, you have many of the same options available to you – attack, defend, focus, use items, and even magic (if you have a magic cannon, that is).  The real strategy is deciding when to use each maneuver.  A grid indicates what the enemy ship has planned, so it’s up to you to act appropriately.  You cannot win ship battles with sheer brute force, so you will need to think ahead several moves, like a chess match.  I found these the most engaging segments of the game, even though you simply watch the pre-selected actions unfold.

The world of Arcadia is as interesting as its characters and combat systems.  Each city has its own distinct theme, from the jungles of Ixa’taka, the Asian-themed city of Yafutoma, or the desert land Nasr.  Eventually you’ll be able to build a base camp on a small island in the sky and recruit crew members who can be assigned to perform specific duties on your ship.  Each crewman also brings a unique skill that can affect your ship’s effectiveness in combat, making it worth seeking them all out to get the best of the best.  With each new location I visited, my appreciation for the game grew.  I enjoyed meeting the new characters, undertaking side quests, and just exploring the cities themselves for hidden treasure chests.  The world felt so alive because of the excellent characterizations and writing, even though the NPCs are more or less always in the same spot.

The world is broken up into sections by giant reefs which you’ll eventually gain the ability to sail through and open up new areas (as well as shortcuts).  As you sail the skies, you can also uncover hidden discoveries.  Sailor’s Guilds in towns often offer hints about new discoveries, and reporting any findings to them can equal large chunks of coin.  Searching for discoveries will mean even more random battles, but I found it worth it not just for the XP boost, but because each discovery has its own little story that I found worth reading.  So much attention to detail was put into the world that every facet of it was worth exploring.

By the time I reached the final boss my characters were such high level, I didn’t take any damage and I finished the adventure with little resistance.  It should have been anticlimactic – a final battle with no challenge – but instead I felt a sense of satisfaction because the entire experience was so sublime.  I had finally seen the story through to completion, and the ending was as emotional as the rest of the game.  Skies of Arcadia is maturely written, with moments of comedy, tragedy, joy, and of course a hefty dose of adventure.

As I mentioned before, the GameCube port has some slight graphical enhancements over the Dreamcast original.  Characters have slightly higher polygon counts, and the lighting effects are mildly improved, but honestly it’s very difficult to tell the difference.  The GameCube wasn’t used to its full capabilities, so it still looks very much like a Dreamcast game, but that’s not a bad thing.  The somewhat exaggerated, vaguely anime look of the characters is still appealing, even if they have abnormally humongous hands.  The world itself still looks pretty good too, and I especially appreciated little touches when sailing like flowing waterfalls or the way the sky around Valua is dark and foreboding, contrasting the lovely blue sky around your home on Sailor’s Isle.

Also previously mentioned is the audio, which is slightly compressed.  Like the graphics, it’s difficult to tell without listening to them side by side through good speakers.  The music is absolutely fantastic, and each tune fits the unique regions of the game.  For example, the Nasr theme has a distinctly Middle Eastern feel, while the Ixa’taka music has a decidedly tribal sound.  The Valua theme is downtrodden and melancholy, matching the spirits of the poor citizens in Lower Value, and the title screen is a short but stunningly gorgeous string arrangement that you’ll often sit and listen to before pressing start.

Sadly, there isn’t much in the way of voice acting besides the occasional “ha ha ha ha!”, “huh?”, or other monosyllabic grunts.  Characters will repeat simple phrases in battle, and frankly it’s the only part of the game I found a little tiresome given the frequency of combat.  Other sound effects are pleasant, however.  Weapon slashes sound cool, ship cannons make an appropriate boom, and footsteps change based on the terrain.

It’s certainly hard to fault the control in a game that’s mostly a series of menus, but controlling Vyse in towns or various ships throughout the game is also simple and effective.

Skies of Arcadia is so damn good it’s not only the standout RPG on the Dreamcast, but Legends is arguably the best RPG on the GameCube.  Such well-written characters are rare in a genre that is usually full of brooding heroes or silent protagonists.  Combat is a blast, whether you’re fighting enemies in a dungeon, the deck of your ship, and especially when battling another ship or giant enemy.  There’s so much to see and do, and you’ll want to experience it all.  The only real shame is that Vyse and his crew have been grounded ever since, but at least this adventure was one for the ages.

Skies of Arcadia Legends was completed on a Nintendo GameCube with no cheats.